I’m an extrovert. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy time to myself. I love time to work on sewing and craft projects and watch a show. But if I spend too much time by myself I get lonely. When my kids were young I was regularly taking them places and interacting with other parents. After 29 years of raising children, one couldn’t blame me if I no longer remember how to find friends that aren’t connected to my children. Compounding my problems, we moved across the country just a few years before my youngest child graduated from high school – so I lost all of the decades long connections I had with families I had raised children with. Do you find yourself in the situation of needing to increase your social connections?
Seems like these days if I want to see people I have to schedule it to make it happen. Sometimes you just have to recognize that social connection is important for your emotional well-being and make time for it. Here are some ideas for how to make this happen:
Volunteer – schedule regular time to do something that makes a difference in your community. Need ideas? Read our previous post about volunteering.
Join or attend a church – spiritual connection helps your soul and can provide opportunities to help people, learn and socialize.
Take a class, and while you’re there, don’t be shy about meeting others there. Get phone numbers and setup study groups or regular work times depending on the type of class.
Join a hobby group – book club, quilt group, hiking group, etc.
Invite friends to dinner, play games, hike or to go see a show. Most of us love to do things like that and really appreciate an organizer! I’ve never been offended by an invitation – so even though I often feel uncertain and worried about reaching out – especially if I don’t know the person well – I try to remind myself that they will definitely feel appreciated just by receiving the invite.
Also – ACCEPT invitations!! Sometimes I do things just because I like the people, even if it’s not something I’m super excited about. I have discovered more than one interest by just being willing to try something with a friend!
Maintain long-time friendships – this can be through regular phone calls and texts or getting together depending on how far apart you live, but perhaps your social life is suffering just because you have let those relationships slide a bit. Everyone appreciates being thought of and knowing others care.
Finally a few notes about etiquette. I feel like rules are evolving with technology and sometimes it takes a bit to catch up – so here are some tips for cell phones in social situations.
When you are with friends – pay attention to them and not your phone. We all understand if you need to send a quick text or take a quick phone call for something urgent – but most things can wait. Just because your phone rings does not mean you need to answer it. If I’m calling someone, I’d much rather them let me leave a message or send a text than have that person answer and tell me they are busy and need to call me back. That’s what your voicemail message does. Let it do its job! Again, while most people understand if someone steps away for a minute, if you are spending time with someone, please don’t use their time to catch up with your long lost friend, your mother or a child. Those people will still be there when our visit is over.
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